Alice in Wonderland, Part 7: Alice's Evidence

"Alice!" called the White Rabbit, his voice thin and shrill. So caught up had she been in watching the trial that Alice had quite forgotten how much she had grown. She sprang to her feet so quickly that the hem of her skirt tipped over the jury-box. The jurors, a lizard, a mole and a dozen other small creatures, went tumbling into the crowd below. Horrified, Alice picked them up as quickly as she could and put them back in their seats. In her haste, though, she put the Lizard in head first, with its tail waving sadly in the air.

"What do you know about this business?" the King asked her. "Nothing," said Alice. "Nothing whatever?" "Nothing whatever." The King, who had been busily writing in his notebook, suddenly called out: "Silence! Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court." Everybody looked at Alice. She pointed out that she was not a mile high, and that the rule had obviously been invented on the spot. "It's the oldest rule in the book," said the King. "Then it ought to be Number One," said Alice, and the King hastily shut his notebook.

At that moment, the White Rabbit hurried forward with a paper that had just been found. It turned out to be a set of verses, unsigned and not in the handwriting of the prisoner, the Knave of Hearts. Far from helping the Knave, this only made matters worse, according to the King: had he been an honest man, he would have signed it. "That proves his guilt," the Queen declared. "It proves nothing of the sort!" said Alice. "You don't even know what the verses are about!"

The verses were read aloud, and they made no sense at all. Even so, the King rubbed his hands together and began to explain what each line meant, line by line, each explanation more ridiculous than the last. Alice, who by now had grown so large that she was no longer afraid of interrupting him, declared that there wasn't an atom of meaning in any of it. Unwilling to admit she was right, the King turned to the jury and asked them to consider their verdict.

"No, no!" said the Queen. "Sentence first, verdict afterwards." "Stuff and nonsense!" said Alice loudly. "Hold your tongue!" said the Queen, turning purple. "I won't!" said Alice. "Off with her head!" the Queen shouted. Not a single creature moved. By this time Alice had grown to her full size, and she looked down at all of them with scorn. "Who cares for you?" she said. "You're nothing but a pack of cards!"

At that, the entire pack shot up into the air and swooped down on her like a flock of angry birds. Half frightened and half furious, Alice cried out and swatted at them with both hands. Then, all at once, she was lying on the grassy riverbank with her head resting in her sister's lap. Her sister was gently brushing a few dead leaves from her face; they had fluttered down from the trees while she slept. "Wake up, Alice dear!" she said. "You've been asleep for ages!" "Oh, I've had such a curious dream!" said Alice, and she told her sister everything she could remember about the Rabbit, the Duchess and the Queen, until it was time to run home for tea.