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Embarrassed, ashamed, or shy
Embarrassed is feeling awkward in front of others; ashamed is feeling bad about something wrong; shy is being nervous around people by nature.
Quick rule
Pick by cause. A public slip: embarrassed. A wrong you did: ashamed. Your nature around people: shy.
Feeling awkward and a bit foolish because of something that happened in front of other people.
Feeling guilty or bad about yourself because you did something wrong or dishonorable.
Nervous or quiet around other people, especially people you do not know. It describes a personality.
How to choose
| Question | embarrassed | ashamed | shy |
|---|---|---|---|
| Is it feeling you did something morally wrong? | SometimesSometimes | Yes | No |
| Does it happen in a moment, in front of others? | Yes | SometimesSometimes | SometimesSometimes |
| Does it describe how you usually are with people? | No | No | Yes |
Why it trips people up
These three words cover different kinds of awkwardness. Embarrassed is about a moment in front of others, ashamed is about your own wrongdoing, and shy is about your personality. People sometimes use embarrassed for small wrongs, so it can overlap with ashamed.
How each one works
Embarrassed
Awkward in a public moment
I was embarrassed when my phone rang during the meeting.
Feeling awkward about your own trait
She's embarrassed about her accent, but it sounds great.
Someone makes you feel awkward
My dad embarrassed me by singing at the restaurant.
Ashamed
Guilt about something wrong
He was ashamed of lying to his sister.
A strong reproach
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Admitting something you did wrong
I'm ashamed to say I never called her back.
Shy
A personality trait
My son is very shy around new people.
Encouraging someone
Don't be shy. Come and sit with us.
A shy gesture
She gave me a shy smile and looked away.
What comes next
embarrassed about or by plus what happened
He was embarrassed by the mess in his room.
embarrassed to plus verb
I'm embarrassed to ask, but where is the restroom?
ashamed of plus what you did
They were ashamed of the way they acted.
shy with or around plus people
She is shy around her boss.
Set phrases
Embarrassed
- could have died of embarrassment
- I felt extremely embarrassed
Ashamed
- ashamed to say
- I feel bad telling you this
- be ashamed of yourself
- you should feel bad about what you did
Shy
- camera-shy
- not comfortable when someone takes your picture
- shy away from
- to avoid something because it makes you nervous
Almost the same
I'm embarrassed.
You had an awkward moment.
I'm ashamed.
You think you did something wrong.
I'm shy.
It is how you are.
He is embarrassed to speak English.
He fears mistakes in front of people.
He is ashamed of his accent.
He feels his accent is a flaw.
He is shy about speaking English.
Speaking up is hard for him by nature.
In a conversation
- A:
Why didn't you sing at the party?
- B:
I was too shy. I don't like singing in front of people.
- A:
But you have a great voice!
- B:
Thanks. Last time I forgot the words and I was so embarrassed.
- A:
That happens to everyone.
- B:
I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm not doing it again.
Common mistakes
Wrong: She is shamed of her brother's behavior.
Right: She is ashamed of her brother's behavior.
The adjective is ashamed. Shamed is the past of the verb shame, as in he was shamed in public.
Wrong: I was embarrassing when my phone rang.
Right: I was embarrassed when my phone rang.
Embarrassed describes the person who feels it. Embarrassing describes the thing that causes it: the ringtone was embarrassing.
Memory trick
Ask yourself: did people see an awkward moment? Embarrassed. Did you do something wrong and know it? Ashamed. Is this just how you are around people? Shy.
It depends
- Small wrongs
- People often use embarrassed for a small wrong, as in I'm embarrassed about how I treated her. Ashamed sounds stronger and more serious.
FAQ
Is it embarrassed or embarrassing?
Use embarrassed for the person who feels it (I'm embarrassed) and embarrassing for the thing that causes it (an embarrassing question).
What is the difference between ashamed and embarrassed?
Ashamed is guilt about something wrong you did. Embarrassed is awkwardness about something that happened in front of others, like a small mistake.
Is shy a feeling or a personality?
Both. Shy is often a personality trait (he is a shy boy), but you can also feel shy in one situation, like meeting a famous person.