Alice in Wonderland: The Queen's Croquet Ground

Having left the tea party behind her, Alice finally stepped into the garden she had glimpsed through the tiny door. The first thing she came across was a rose tree covered in white blooms, around which three gardeners, as flat and oblong as playing cards, were hurriedly painting every flower red. A white tree had been planted by mistake where a red one was meant to be, one of them muttered, and should the Queen discover it, all three would lose their heads.

No sooner had he spoken than a cry of "The Queen!" sent them diving face down onto the grass. Into the garden swept a long procession of soldiers, courtiers and guests, with the King and Queen bringing up the rear. Asked who the gardeners were, Alice answered that it was none of her business, at which the Queen's face went crimson. "Off with her head!" she shrieked. "Nonsense!" Alice replied, so loudly and firmly that the Queen fell silent. Spotting the half-painted roses, the Queen ordered the gardeners to be executed, but Alice hid them in a flowerpot before the soldiers could find them.

"Can you play croquet?" the Queen bellowed, and Alice said she could. The ground was all bumps and furrows. Every ball was a living hedgehog, every mallet a living flamingo, and every hoop a soldier bent double. Whenever Alice was about to strike, her flamingo would curl round and stare up at her in such bewilderment that she burst out laughing.

Nobody bothered to take turns. Everyone hit at once, quarrelling over the hedgehogs, while the Queen marched about ordering an execution roughly every minute. Alice grew increasingly uneasy: having already been sentenced once, she could hardly expect to be lucky twice. She was wondering how to slip away when a grin appeared in mid-air, then a pair of eyes, and at last a whole head with no body beneath it. It was the Cheshire Cat.

The King, who instantly disliked the Cat, wanted it removed. The Queen, for whom every problem had the same solution, simply shouted "Off with his head!" over her shoulder. An executioner was sent for, and an argument broke out at once. How, the executioner wanted to know, could he possibly remove a head that wasn't attached to anything? The King replied that anything with a head could perfectly well be beheaded, and the Queen warned that unless the matter was settled immediately, she would have the whole party executed.

Alice suggested asking the Duchess, who owned the Cat. "She's in prison," said the Queen to the executioner. "Fetch her here." But as soon as he had hurried off, the Cat's head began to fade, and by the time he came back with the Duchess, nothing was left of it. While the King and the executioner searched for a head that was no longer there, the others went back to the game.