Out of Office

December 26, 9:14 a.m. Subject: Spring catalog, final files. Dear Anneke and Tadeo, I'm sorry to be writing in the quiet week between Christmas and New Year. I need to approve the final proofs of our spring catalog before December 31, otherwise we lose our printing slot in January. Tadeo, could you please send the corrected files to Anneke directly and copy me in? Many thanks, and happy holidays. Isobel Whitcombe, Whitcombe Ceramics

December 26, 9:14 a.m. Subject: Automatic reply: Spring catalog, final files. I am currently out of the office and will be returning on Monday, January 4. During this period I will be checking email only occasionally. Your message has been received and will be dealt with after my return. Urgent print orders may be sent to our night desk. Anneke Vos, Northgate Print

December 26, 9:15 a.m. Subject: RE: Automatic reply: Spring catalog, final files. Hi there! Thanks so much for getting in touch. I'll be hiking in Patagonia until January 5 and won't be looking at a screen at all. Your email will be read the moment I'm back, and if it's truly urgent, it will still be urgent in January! Tadeo, Brightwell Design

December 27, 8:02 a.m. Subject: PLEASE STOP. Dear both, I have now received 389 emails, all of them from your two automatic replies, which appear to be answering each other in an endless loop and copying me in every single time. If either of you happens to see this, could you possibly switch them off? Isobel

December 27, 8:02 a.m. Subject: RE: Automatic reply: PLEASE STOP. Hi there! Thanks so much for getting in touch. I'll be hiking in Patagonia until January 5...

December 28, 10:40 a.m. Subject: Your request has been received (ticket #50613). Dear customer, thank you for contacting the Brightwell Design help desk. Your request has been logged and will be assigned to a technician shortly. Please note that our support team will be taking a well-earned break until January 4. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

December 29, 7:55 p.m. Subject: Urgent: spring catalog proofs. Dear night desk, Anneke and Tadeo are both away, and their automatic replies seem to have fallen in love with each other. Fortunately, Tadeo had uploaded the corrected files to our shared folder before Christmas, so I have attached them here myself. Please consider this my formal approval of the proofs. Brightwell's help desk has given me a ticket number and nothing else. Every automatic reply, old and new, now goes straight into a folder I have named Robots. Isobel Whitcombe

December 29, 9:31 p.m. Subject: RE: Urgent: spring catalog proofs. Hi Isobel, files received, and your catalog will be printed on January 6 as planned. I'm so sorry about the noise; I believe Tadeo set his reply up as a rule that answers every message and copies in everyone, and Anneke's does exactly the same. Both will be hearing about this. Femke, Northgate Print night desk

December 31, 11:59 p.m. Folder: Robots. Unread messages: 4,212. Written by a human being: 0.