The Celebrated Jumping Frog

A friend once asked me to visit an old man named Simon Wheeler in a mining camp in Calaveras County. I was to ask him about a man called Smiley. I found Wheeler sitting in the sun outside an old hotel. The moment I said the name, he made himself comfortable and talked for an hour.

"There was a fellow here called Jim Smiley, back in the gold rush days," Wheeler began, without a smile. "He'd bet on anything. Give him two birds on a fence, and he'd put money on which one would fly away first."

"One day he caught a frog and took it home, saying he was going to educate it. For the next three months he gave up everything else and worked with that frog in his back yard every day. He named it Dan'l Webster. By the end, Dan'l could jump farther than any frog in the county. Smiley kept him in a little wooden box and won a lot of money betting on him."

"Then one day a stranger came into camp and noticed the box. 'What might that be?' he asked. 'A frog,' said Smiley, 'and he can outjump any frog in Calaveras County.' The stranger looked at Dan'l for a long time. 'Well,' he said slowly, 'I don't see anything special about that frog.' 'I'll bet you forty dollars he can,' said Smiley."

"The stranger said he'd take the bet, only he didn't have a frog. 'Watch my box for me, and I'll go and catch you one,' said Smiley, and off he ran to the swamp. While he was gone, the stranger opened Dan'l's mouth and filled him with quail shot, the little lead balls that hunters use. He didn't stop until the shot came almost up to the frog's chin."

"Smiley came back with a frog, and they set the two side by side. 'One, two, three, jump!' The new frog jumped. Dan'l Webster tried, but he couldn't move an inch. He sat there as heavy as a church bell. The stranger picked up the forty dollars, and at the door he turned and said once more, 'I don't see anything special about that frog.'"

"Smiley stood there scratching his head. Then he picked Dan'l up, noticed how heavy he was, and turned him upside down. Out poured more shot than his two hands could hold. Smiley ran after the stranger as fast as he could, but he never caught him."

Wheeler was just starting a new story about one of Smiley's cows when I got up and left. To this day I suspect my friend had never known anybody called Smiley at all, and had sent me to Wheeler as a joke. If so, I had swallowed it as completely as Dan'l Webster swallowed that shot.