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Marry vs get married
Marry takes the person directly (marry a doctor, with no with), and get married is the act of the wedding (get married in June, get married to Ana).
Quick rule
Marry + person, no with. For the wedding itself: get married. With a name: get married to.
To take someone as your husband or wife. The person comes right after the verb, with no with. Also to perform the wedding.
To become husband and wife. It is the usual way to talk about a wedding, and the person comes after to.
Why it trips people up
Marry takes the person directly, with no preposition. Get married is the common phrase for the wedding itself, and the person takes to: get married to Ana. Mixing the two patterns gives marry to or get married with.
How each one works
Marry
Taking someone as a spouse
My grandfather married my grandmother when he was twenty.
Marry with no object
She never married, and she lived happily alone.
Performing the wedding
A judge married them in the city hall.
Get married
The wedding as an event
They got married in a small church.
An upcoming wedding
We're getting married in June.
When the wedding was
My parents got married in 1995.
What comes next
marry plus person, no with
He married his high school sweetheart.
get married to plus person
She got married to a teacher.
get married plus place or date
They want to get married in the summer.
Set phrases
Marry
- marry for love
- to marry because you love the person
- marry for money
- to marry because the person is rich
Get married
- get married at city hall
- to have a short civil wedding
- get married again
- to marry a second time
Almost the same
They married in 2010.
Formal, like a news report.
They got married in 2010.
The usual way to say it.
She married Tom.
The act, with the person right after.
She got married to Tom.
The act, with to before the person.
She is married to Tom.
The state: they are already married.
In a conversation
- A:
Did you hear? Marta is getting married next month!
- B:
Really? Who's the lucky man?
- A:
Her boyfriend from college. He asked her to marry him last winter.
- B:
Wonderful! Where are they getting married?
- A:
In a small church by the sea. Only family will come.
- B:
That sounds beautiful.
Common mistakes
Wrong: She got married with a lawyer.
Right: She got married to a lawyer.
After get married, the person takes to, not with.
Wrong: Leo wants to get married her next year.
Right: Leo wants to marry her next year.
Without to, the person follows the verb directly, so use marry: marry him. With get married, you need to: get married to him.
Memory trick
Marry already has the "with" inside it: marry somebody. Get married needs to if you name the person: get married to somebody.
It depends
- The officiant
- The judge or priest who performs the wedding marries the couple: The priest married them. Get married does not fit there, because the couple is the one doing it.
- Marry and get married
- With no person named, both work: They married in 2010. Get married sounds more natural in speech.
FAQ
Is it married to or married with?
Married to names the spouse: She is married to a teacher. Married with introduces children, as in married with two kids.
What is the difference between marry and get married?
Marry is followed directly by the person: he married Ana. Get married talks about the wedding, and the person takes to.
How do you say that someone is already married?
Say He is married or He is married to Ana. Get married is the act, and be married is the state.