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Prefer, would rather, or had better
Prefer states a preference, often a general one, would rather states one for now with no to, and had better warns that something should happen.
Quick rule
A preference, with to or -ing? Prefer. A choice for now, with the base verb? Would rather. A warning that something bad will happen otherwise? Had better.
To like one thing more than another. It takes a noun, to + verb, or -ing, and compares with to: prefer tea to coffee.
To prefer something now or in a specific case. It takes the base verb, no to, and compares with than: I'd rather walk than wait.
Strong advice for now: if it doesn't happen, something bad follows. It takes the base verb, no to.
How to choose
| Question | prefer | would rather | had better |
|---|---|---|---|
| Can to come before the next verb (___ to wait)? | Yes | No | No |
| Does it compare with than (___ walk than drive)? | SometimesSometimes | Yes | No |
| Does it warn that something bad will happen otherwise? | No | No | Yes |
Why it trips people up
Prefer and would rather both express preference but take different grammar: prefer uses to or -ing, would rather the bare verb. Had better looks similar but is advice with a warning, so mixing it with would rather changes the message.
How each one works
Prefer
Comparing two things with to
I prefer summer to winter.
Prefer + to + verb
She prefers to work at night.
Would prefer: now, with to
I'd prefer not to talk about it.
Would rather
A preference for now
I'd rather stay home tonight.
Comparing with than
I'd rather walk than take the bus.
Someone else + past tense
I'd rather you didn't smoke here.
Had better
Strong advice
You'd better take an umbrella.
With the consequence: or
We'd better leave now or we'll miss the train.
Negative: had better not
You'd better not tell Mom.
What comes next
prefer plus A plus to plus B
My kids prefer pizza to pasta.
would prefer plus to plus verb
I'd prefer to sit by the window.
would rather plus verb plus than plus verb
I would rather cook than order food.
would rather plus person plus past tense
I would rather you called me first.
had better plus verb
You had better hurry.
had better not plus verb
We had better not be late again.
Almost the same
I'd rather take a taxi.
A preference: you just like it more.
I'd better take a taxi.
Advice to yourself: otherwise you'll be late.
I prefer taxis.
A general preference, not just today.
In a conversation
- A:
Do you want to go out for dinner?
- B:
Honestly, I'd rather order something and watch a movie.
- A:
Fine, but we'd better order now. They close at ten.
- B:
OK. Do you prefer Thai food or Mexican?
Common mistakes
Wrong: She'd better work in a smaller city.
Right: She'd rather work in a smaller city.
Had better is advice with a warning. For what someone likes more, use would rather or would prefer.
Wrong: You'd better hold a valid license to rent a car.
Right: You must hold a valid license to rent a car.
Had better is advice for one situation, not a rule. For requirements, use must or have to.
Wrong: I prefer drive.
Right: I prefer to drive.
Prefer takes to + verb or -ing, not the bare verb.
Memory trick
Prefer is the only one that takes to before a verb. Would rather and had better act like can: base verb, no to. And had better hides a warning: do it, or else.
It depends
- Would prefer for someone else
- With another person, use an object + to (We'd prefer you to call first) or it if + past (We'd prefer it if you called first).
- Had best
- In casual speech some people say had best instead of had better. It sounds slightly softer: You'd best ask your boss first.
FAQ
Would rather or would prefer: what's the difference?
The meaning is close. The grammar differs: would prefer takes to (I'd prefer to wait), while would rather takes the base verb (I'd rather wait) and compares with than.
Had better or would rather?
Had better is advice with a warning (We'd better leave now); would rather is a preference (I'd rather leave now). Same verb form, very different message.