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Who, whom, or whose
Who is the one doing the action, whom is the formal object form (to whom), and whose asks or tells who something belongs to.
Quick rule
Doing the action? Who. Receiving it, in formal writing or right after a preposition? Whom. Asking or saying who owns it? Whose.
Used for people. It is the everyday form: it works for the one doing the action and, in speech, for the object too.
The formal object form of who, used when the person receives the action or follows a preposition: to whom.
It asks or says who something belongs to: whose bag?, the man whose car was stolen.
How to choose
| Question | who | whom | whose |
|---|---|---|---|
| Is it doing the action (could you say he or she)? | Yes | No | No |
| Is it receiving the action or after a preposition (could you say him)? | SometimesSometimes | Yes | No |
| Does it say who owns something (could you say his)? | No | No | Yes |
Why it trips people up
Who and whom split the same person into subject and object, but whom has become formal, so speakers often use who everywhere. Whose is a different job: it shows ownership, and it sounds exactly like who's (who is or who has), which causes most writing slips.
How each one works
Who
Asking about the subject
Who left the door open?
Relative clause about a person
The woman who lives next door is a nurse.
Object in speech, preposition at the end
Who are you waiting for?
Whom
After a preposition: formal
To whom should I send the form?
Object in a relative clause, formal
The candidate whom we interviewed was excellent.
Of whom after a number or some
She has three brothers, two of whom live abroad.
Whose
Asking about the owner
Whose phone is this?
Relative clause: possession
I met a girl whose father is a pilot.
Also for things
This is the house whose roof blew off in the storm.
What comes next
who plus verb (subject)
Who wants more cake?
person plus who plus verb
I have a friend who speaks five languages.
preposition plus whom
With whom did you travel?
number, some, or most plus of whom
I invited ten people, most of whom came.
whose plus noun plus ...?
Whose turn is it?
noun plus whose plus noun
He's the actor whose movie won the award.
Almost the same
Who did you call?
The normal way to say it in conversation, even though the person is the object.
Whom did you call?
Correct but very formal: it sounds like an official letter.
Whose is this?
It asks about the owner.
Who is this?
It asks about the person. In speech it shortens to who's, which sounds just like whose.
In a conversation
- A:
Whose letter is this?
- B:
It's for the new neighbor, the guy who moved in upstairs.
- A:
It starts with "To whom it may concern." So formal!
- B:
That's how official letters begin. Who sent it?
Common mistakes
Wrong: Who's book is this?
Right: Whose book is this?
Who's means who is or who has. For ownership, it has to be whose.
Wrong: Whose coming to the party?
Right: Who's coming to the party?
Here you mean who is coming, so you need the contraction who's.
Memory trick
Answer with he, him, or his. He means who; him means whom (both end in m); his means whose.
It depends
- Whom in everyday English
- Outside formal writing, who is standard in object position: Who did you speak to? sounds more natural than To whom did you speak?
- Whom in relative clauses
- In a defining clause, most people use who, that, or nothing: the family (who) I met. After a comma, formal style prefers whom.
FAQ
Who or whom should I contact?
Formally, whom, because you contact that person: Whom should I contact? In everyday emails, Who should I contact? is standard.
Whose or who's?
Who's is short for who is or who has: Who's coming? Whose shows ownership: Whose idea was this?
Is it "to whom it may concern" or "to who it may concern"?
To whom it may concern. It follows a preposition, and the phrase is formal, so whom is the right form.