Reflexive pronouns (myself, yourself, himself...) are used when the SUBJECT and OBJECT are the SAME PERSON, or for EMPHASIS. Object pronouns (me, you, him...) are used when subject and object are different people.
REFLEXIVE PRONOUNS (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves): used in TWO CONTEXTS: (1) REFLEXIVE USE: the subject receives its own action. "She hurt herself" = she hurt herself (subject = her, object = her). "I cut myself" = I cut myself. "They enjoyed themselves" = they had a good time. (2) EMPHATIC USE: to emphasize that the subject did something WITHOUT HELP or PERSONALLY. "The CEO himself attended the meeting" = the CEO in person attended. "I fixed it myself" = I fixed it myself (without help). The emphatic use can appear right after the subject or at the end of the clause.
She prided herself on delivering projects not just on time but consistently above the quality standards the client expected.
The team organized themselves into three parallel workstreams to accelerate delivery and avoid creating a single point of failure.
The director himself reviewed every line of the final contract before it was sent to the client — he wanted to ensure there were no ambiguities.
OBJECT PRONOUNS (me, you, him, her, it, us, them): used when the OBJECT of the action is a DIFFERENT PERSON from the subject. "She hurt him" = she hurt HIM (subject = her, object = him). "I helped her" = I helped HER. Common Spanish speaker errors: (1) Omitting the reflexive when needed: "She cut" instead of "She cut herself" (in Spanish "se corto" carries the reflexive more naturally). (2) Using the reflexive when not needed: "I hurt me" = INCORRECT. Correct: "I hurt myself." (3) Using "myself" as a subject: "Myself did it" = INCORRECT. "I did it myself" = correct (myself as emphasis, not as subject).
The senior partner mentored her throughout her first year, and her rapid growth was largely a result of the guidance he offered her.
They contacted us directly via email last week — could you follow up with them to schedule the initial discovery call?
She presented the findings to them in a structured way, and they responded positively to both the methodology and the recommendations.
Common mistake
The four classic errors: (1) "I introduced me to the team" = INCORRECT. Subject (I) and object (the same person) = REFLEXIVE: "I introduced MYSELF to the team." (2) "Please contact myself if you have questions" = INCORRECT use of reflexive. MYSELF is only used when the subject of the clause is "I." In this phrase, the subject is not "I" = use "me": "Please contact ME." (3) "He enjoyed" (no pronoun) = INCORRECT when reflexive. "He enjoyed HIMSELF" or "He enjoyed the party" (with external object). Without an object, the verb is incomplete. (4) Using "themselves" for unknown singular subject = OK in informal English: "Someone left their bag" / "Someone hurt themselves" (singular they).
Trick to remember it
The IDENTITY TEST: are the subject and object the SAME PERSON? YES = REFLEXIVE (myself/yourself/himself...). NO = OBJECT PRONOUN (me/you/him...). "She helped her" = she helped ANOTHER PERSON (her = another woman). "She helped herself" = she helped HERSELF. The -self/-selves trick: these end in -SELF (singular) or -SELVES (plural). Only used when subject = object (reflexive) or to emphasize that the subject did something alone (emphatic). The "contact myself" error: in formal emails, many people say "please contact myself" thinking it sounds more formal — but it is a grammatical error. Always use "contact ME" when the implied subject of the imperative (you) is not you yourself.
Quick rule
Myself/yourself/himself/herself/itself/ourselves/yourselves/themselves: (1) subject = object (action reflected back on oneself). (2) Emphasis (I myself / the director himself). All other cases = regular object pronoun (me/you/him/her/us/them).
Did you know?
Misusing "myself" as a subject or as a polished substitute for "me" is so common in corporate English and formal emails that linguists have given it a name: "reflexive misuse" or "polite myself." The theory for why it happens is that speakers associate "myself" with something more formal or polite than plain "me," and overgeneralize it. Phrases like "Please forward to John and myself" or "Contact Sarah or myself for more information" are frequent in business emails but are grammatically incorrect — the correct forms are "forward to John and ME" and "contact Sarah or ME." Corporate style guides from companies like Google and Microsoft explicitly list the "polite myself" as an error to be corrected in professional communications.
Exercise 1 · Pick the right one
After the difficult negotiation, the lead attorney took a moment to compose _____ before delivering the final counter-offer to the opposing counsel.
Exercise 2 · Pick the right one
If you have any questions about the onboarding process, please reach out to HR or _____ directly — we are happy to assist.
Exercise 3 · Form the word
Myself/yourself/himself/herself/itself/ourselves/yourselves/themselves: (1) subject = object (action reflected back on oneself). (2) Emphasis (I myself / the director himself). All other cases = regular object pronoun (me/you/him/her/us/them).
The four classic errors: (1) "I introduced me to the team" = INCORRECT. Subject (I) and object (the same person) = REFLEXIVE: "I introduced MYSELF to the team." (2) "Please contact myself if you have questions" = INCORRECT use of reflexive. MYSELF is only used when the subject of the clause is "I." In this phrase, the subject is not "I" = use "me": "Please contact ME." (3) "He enjoyed" (no pronoun) = INCORRECT when reflexive. "He enjoyed HIMSELF" or "He enjoyed the party" (with external object). Without an object, the verb is incomplete. (4) Using "themselves" for unknown singular subject = OK in informal English: "Someone left their bag" / "Someone hurt themselves" (singular they).
The IDENTITY TEST: are the subject and object the SAME PERSON? YES = REFLEXIVE (myself/yourself/himself...). NO = OBJECT PRONOUN (me/you/him...). "She helped her" = she helped ANOTHER PERSON (her = another woman). "She helped herself" = she helped HERSELF. The -self/-selves trick: these end in -SELF (singular) or -SELVES (plural). Only used when subject = object (reflexive) or to emphasize that the subject did something alone (emphatic). The "contact myself" error: in formal emails, many people say "please contact myself" thinking it sounds more formal — but it is a grammatical error. Always use "contact ME" when the implied subject of the imperative (you) is not you yourself.
Bryan López
Founder of SpeakUP Academy