"Sympathy" = feeling sorrow or pity for someone from the outside; "empathy" = putting yourself in someone else's shoes and feeling what they feel.
Noun: feeling of sorrow, pity, or solidarity at someone else's suffering. You OBSERVE the other person's pain and feel compassion from your own emotional position. "I feel sorry for you" is sympathy. Sympathy cards express sympathy.
She sent a sympathy card to the family after learning about their loss.
I have great sympathy for people who struggle with anxiety — it must be exhausting.
The audience listened with sympathy as the speaker described the difficulties of her childhood.
Noun: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, as if you stepped into their shoes and felt what they feel. "I feel what you feel" is empathy. It is more immersive and personal than sympathy: the empathic person emotionally experiences the other's perspective.
A good therapist can empathize with a client's pain without becoming overwhelmed by it.
She showed remarkable empathy during the crisis, instinctively knowing what each person needed.
Reading fiction is one of the best ways to develop empathy — you see the world through other people's eyes.
Common mistake
In colloquial use, many people use "empathy" and "sympathy" interchangeably. Key difference: SYMPATHY = you feel FOR them (you pity them from the outside). EMPATHY = you feel WITH them (you enter their emotional experience). You can have SYMPATHY for someone who lost everything in a flood even if you have never experienced it. But if you have also lost everything in a flood and you relive that feeling when listening to them, that is EMPATHY.
Trick to remember it
Quick memory: SYMPATHY = "I feel sorry FOR you" (you remain outside their experience). EMPATHY = "I feel what you feel" (you step INSIDE their experience). Trick: in EMPATHY, the "EM-" is like EMbodying the other person's experience, going INTO it. In SYMPATHY, the "SYM-" is like being on the SAME side as them but not inside — a symbolic gesture of support from outside.
Quick rule
Sympathy = feeling sorrow or solidarity FROM THE OUTSIDE (you feel sorry for their situation). Empathy = feeling what the other feels, FROM THE INSIDE (you enter their emotional perspective).
Did you know?
Psychologist Jean Decety demonstrated using functional MRI that when an empathic person observes someone suffering, the same brain regions associated with pain activate in the observer. Empathy is literally neurological: your brain "feels" another's pain. Sympathy, in contrast, activates regions associated with recognizing pain and motivation to help, but not the same first-person pain processing regions.
Exercise 1 · Pick the right one
She had never experienced homelessness herself, but her training had taught her to _____ with her clients and understand their emotional perspective.
Exercise 2 · Pick the right one
I have great _____ for anyone who has to work two jobs just to pay rent — the cost of living has become unmanageable.
Exercise 3 · Form the word
Sympathy = feeling sorrow or solidarity FROM THE OUTSIDE (you feel sorry for their situation). Empathy = feeling what the other feels, FROM THE INSIDE (you enter their emotional perspective).
In colloquial use, many people use "empathy" and "sympathy" interchangeably. Key difference: SYMPATHY = you feel FOR them (you pity them from the outside). EMPATHY = you feel WITH them (you enter their emotional experience). You can have SYMPATHY for someone who lost everything in a flood even if you have never experienced it. But if you have also lost everything in a flood and you relive that feeling when listening to them, that is EMPATHY.
Quick memory: SYMPATHY = "I feel sorry FOR you" (you remain outside their experience). EMPATHY = "I feel what you feel" (you step INSIDE their experience). Trick: in EMPATHY, the "EM-" is like EMbodying the other person's experience, going INTO it. In SYMPATHY, the "SYM-" is like being on the SAME side as them but not inside — a symbolic gesture of support from outside.
Bryan López
Founder of SpeakUP Academy